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blind romance

you walk in to my life from the unexpected direction
crossed my path in such a narrow line, met me at the fringe of the circle of life
came along with shining eyes, replacing darkness in the alley of time
the light infiltrate reach the weeping soul, gives light to the heart of a man
kind of a dream but so real
kind of casual but so deep
fast in a motion but so strong, generate the waves of unique emotion.
your touch woken up frozen soul
brought him to the bridge to dance once again
shaded by the night sky, under the stars light
leaves the memories over the nebula
kind of cold but so warm inside
kind of ghostly but so beautiful
silence in the atmosphere but thunderous inside
the kiss which blew my mind
which messing up all the decent images
drunk by the young stupid blind romance
just like a teenager on his first date
let me dance, let me shout
let the feeling drive the moves, the emotion shaking up the floor
from the evening till dawn, let dance with me
that’s all i ask

a beautiful mess [a tribute for the birds all around the world]

Oh bird…every time you say that you miss me, say that you love me

I’m like a fool facing the truth, i still feel the same

Every night I struggle the anonomyous pain

just to deny i still love you like crazy

and every time you tell me this

I guess you don’t really know what you are saying

Here i’m imprisoned by the idealism of a man

Holding a fire expecting to be freeze

Stringing dreams with no place to go

Shall i stepping out from a kind of what so called good heart

Oh…how i wish i could do that

Here i’m…baby here i’m

but I guess you have no time to picture the scene

you might lost your sense by now,

for u’re on the run following the pace of your desire

I’d love to believe that your love is real and find a reason that you’re care

There’s no regret for all thing we paint in the past

But what is left now it just a piece of worn cloth

i’m just a man who want it for my own heart

but i know its not enough to fold a bright future

i’ve got nothing to show you, no more

i don’t even know what is the point of being honest

i supposed not to write them down, but well i did

it just every time i wake up the morning sun speak on my ears

go pickin up the words among the pieces

tells your poor heart that you have no f***ng fears

give those tears and pain a pair of wings

let them fly together with the soul of a free bird

to a place they never know…

In a searh of your lost

I switch on the sound, waken up my soul
I Ring up my strings that I use to play
Laugh & tears are some of the melody
I found peace to see them waving,
None of them lost their touch.

I did my best on which I certain
Immerse the heart into the ocean of love
Still…love will never enough
Fill up the desire that has no wall

Believe me darling, I’ll be ok.
I’ll just let go whatever happen.
I am not too weak to lose of something,
Not too strong to die for something.

Baby the rain was hanging on the sky
I’d love to take you home
But the call is no longer mine
To see them falling from the same window.

The search of losing has comes to the end
Now we’d lose, to search of something
This is a line to draw the memory.
I’ll just let these feeling to fly away.

strings with a diffrent sound

the day i found myself, sitting on the 3rd floor

looking out thru the window as a stranger in the town i’ve known

i heard sparrows singing the same song all time

among noises buzzing all around

i see bright blue yellow house with an old abandon one stick next to each other

under the radiant afternoon sun light

i see the reflection of our path thru many years they’ve been thru

no matter how, how bright you are. no matter how old skull i’am

no matter how, how high you are. no matter how ordinary i’am

those are just strings with a different sound, just paints with a different colour

not to be changing, coz we are keep on searching to live in harmony…

summer time, the coldness of winter, rainy days, dry season of the year

all goes in circle, the fact that we must face in the eyes of existence

baby**would you play the strings with me, would you paint the future with me

in a harmony???

for life has a story

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Life is an abstract reality, it was obvious  that an expression of laugh, tears and smile are real..though most of the time, the meaning of those expression  goes far beyond what eyes could see, hand could touch and ears could heard..when life revealed the truth, its not as simple as it shown on the surfaces because only heart able to understand…for life has a story.

An Island in the sun

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At one point when life gets hard when the present circumstances  suck out the energy from finding a way out, all we need is to get calm and think in peace. some are able to do it every where, though most of us need to fly away find a quite place where we can meditate. i imagine about places which i called an island in the sun, though i just have those pics in my mind right now, it was help a lot.  iwish to be there again in the future, someties its good to have been where we’ve been where  all the good and sweet time are drawed to refresh soul and our mind

When you’re on a holiday
You can’t find the words to say
All the things that come to you
And I wanna feel it too

On an island in the sun
We’ll be playin and havin fun
And it makes me feel so fine I can’t control my brain

When you’re on a golden sea
You don’t need no memory
Just a place to call your own
As we drift into the zone

On an island in the sun
We’ll be playin and havin fun
And it makes me feel so fine I can’t control my brain

We’ll run away together
We’ll spend some time forever
We’ll never feel bad anymore

On an island in the sun
We’ll be playin and havin fun
And it makes me feel so fine I can’t control my brain

We’ll run away together
We’ll spend some time forever
We’ll never feel bad anymore

We’ll never feel that anymore

lyric by weezer

Winter in Moskva


 Journey to Russia is one of my dream in life, not many Indonesian put Russia on their travel destination list, though this country is well known among Indonesian society but the issue of communism which connecting the history of the country with Russia has a terrible experience in the past. In the eyes of most Indonesian people Russia is cold and mysterious country, in other hand this fact makes me curious. Discover and figure out how Russia nowadays it was so tempted. Finally at the end of 2010 on 21nd of December the time has come, i fly to Moscow the capital city of Russia, seems like the dream is nearly come true. Geographically Russia is unique, has a similarity with Turkey, Located in the border between Asia and Europe which directly inherit both culture and values.  Qatar airways that fly me landed safely and sound in Domodedovo airport 21th December  around  7.30 local time, it was snowy and little bit windy at that time, I am  amazed  by the view for this is my first winter’s experience, to see the snow in real it just wonderful. The experience at immigration gate nearly makes me feels what people says about Russia it might true,  there is no smile, nor welcome greets, barely no words comes out from the officer’s mouth except “ok next”. But the feeling is not last for long, the smile from my girlfriend family’s driver named Vladimir who pick me up at the airport with my name written in the paper board on his hand sweep away all the negative atmosphere. Vladimir drive me to Moscow State University where my girlfriend’s family lives, her father is a professor and lecturer in Geographic faculty at Moscow State University. MSU is a largest and oldest university in Russia. It was made in 1755 by Ivan Shuvalov and Mikail Lomonosov. The building itself that we can see now was built in 1949 in the Stalin period of time. It was the tallest building in Europe until 1988. The central tower is 240m high, it has 36 stories. It is flanked by four huge wings of student and faculty accommodations. Approx. contain a total of 33 kilometers of corridors and 5,000 rooms. There are seven more similar building around Moscow city built during Stalin period of time, but MSU building is the biggest and the most beautiful one among others. I am lucky stayed at one of the historical building in Russia. A journey to Russia that time was so enjoyable, there are few big day during my trip to celebrate in Moscow. Christmas and New year are the major celebration and especially about Christmas day, Russia is not like many others countries who celebrate Christmas on 25th of December, they Celebrate Christmas at 7th of January which is the same date with my birthday, which makes the day become more special to me.

For a birthday present Sergey, my girlfriend brother give us itinerary to explore Moscow in such a way to discover  Moscow and get to know the history of Russia from a different point of view. There are so many fabulous places beside the great kremlin which full with history. Izmailovsky park one of the places that it’s on the list. Have been occupied by Chinese people for many years but now no more the rumors said that they got a problem with Putin.  There is art market where you can buy painting and most of Russian souvenirs from hand painted matryoshka nesting dolls, Lomonosov porcelain to a piece of jewelry shawls.  If you manage to walk around you can see the miniature of St. Basil with butterflies which some people found it as strange unification.

Take a short walk from the Luzhniki Sports Stadium, in a tranquil southern suburb of Moscow, inside a bend in the Moscow River the red and white walls with golden domes of  Novodevichy is standing strong. This one of the most attractive monasteries in Moscow many famous Russian are buried here. On the corner there is one beautiful tower called Sophia tower where people make usually make a wish there or even write down their prayers on the wall.

In opening lyric of the song called “wind of change” by Scorpion say “i follow the Moskva down to Gorky park” this exactly the song that i play on and on in my mind while I walked through the Krymsky bridge on the way to Gorky park, the famous amusement park where most of the Moscow’s youngster gathered. In winter time most of the activities here are connected to the snow, most of people do ice skating.

In the other night with my girlfriend we decided to visit one last private house in the down town of Moscow near the red square. We got this information from her brother, but he has no idea who lives there, nobody knows. It’s almost 8.30 pm when walked that dark narrow alley, there are few old broken car parked it looks like an abandon area. The house is looks quite old made by concrete and woods surrounded by some broken furniture, I can say the scenery  just like in a horror movie.  At front the house we’re discussed whether we should press the bell  or just leave. My girlfriend suggested us to leave, she said in Russian culture is not common to go to someone’s house if you don’t know the owner but I insist. I am just curious who is the owner, and have a talk if it’s possible. Fifteen minutes later after three times pressed the bell finally there are three person comes out from the house and two more came from the backyard one of them bring an axe on his hand, that was pretty scary to be honest,  I just thoughts that I was made a wrong decision. Soon after my girlfriend talk with them the situation is not as bad as I thoughts. The owner is a teacher, he inherits the house from his grandparents and the house itself has a unique history. To have the ownership of the house they have been fights in the international court, now the government no longer harassing the presence of the house, and about the guy with an axe he just finish his work and came to join the discussion. This part is one of the excite experience for me.

As we know Moscow is one the expensive city in the world, and its concerning the place for living and the location as well.  Government have a policy about the ownership of private property, beside the price is extremely high. So having a private house in Moscow is almost impossible, most people lives in the flat or apartment even they are wealthy and rich family, it just totally different than Jakarta the capital city of Indonesia where you can have a private house in downtown as big as u want as long as you can afford it.

In the other night, after walking around Moscow downtown i have chance to watch the classical music performance from Austria at Novaya Opera Theatre of Moscow, it’s another gift from my Russian friends whom I ever host in during their trip to Indonesia. If Austria is famous with their classical music composers, Russia is outstanding with their literature. From early 1830’s Russian literature underwent an astounding golden age, beginning with the poet Alexander Pushkin and culminating in two of the greatest novelists in world literature Leo Tolstoy Fyodor Dostoyevsky. The second generation that shine after that, led by Prosaists Anton chekov and Maxim Gorky and in the 20th century the leading figures and world class poets increase even more.

The rest of journey  in Russia I have a chance to visit Vladimir the ancient city in Russia, about 100 years older than Moscow,  The ancient city of Vladimir is the keeper of the Russian land origin secrets. To some extent, Vladimir is the father of Russian cities, since it appeared before Moscow and other Russian cities. Its history is both fascinating and dramatic. It began in 1108, when the legendary Prince Vladimir Monomakh built a mighty fortress to protect the area from the south-east. The new fortress named after its founder became the basis for the new principality, which was created and strengthened by the son of Vladimir Monomakh, Prince Yuri Dolgoruky. He built a number of new fortresses there. Among the cities founded by him were Moscow, Pereslavl-Zaleski, Yur’ev-Polish, and Zvenigorod. Have a tried the traditional sauna called “banya”,  jump into the snow naked when the temperature is – 27 it was extraordinary. The more I look closer and live with Russian, the more I felt the warm heart and generosity behind their cold appearance I would like to conclude all in what Alexander Pushkin write about the winter:

Through the cool and wavy hazes

Cuts the moon her slow way;

On the glades of sadness, endless,

Her distressing light she spays.

The exhausting winter road

Leads the troika, full of strength;

The light bell with one tone loaded,

Weary rings through all time’s length.

One can hear something native

In the coachman’s long songs –

Or a revel, superlative,

Or a soul’s sadness, strong.

Nor a light nor a dark house –

Wild and snow… On my way,

Just the striped versts arouse

And, this moment, run away

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